1. |
Cereal Factory
02:52
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(Let me see, stop! Who’s that? Who’s that baby? Who Is that? What your name?)
(Kai)
(Kai? Is your name Kai?)
(Yes)
(Kai who? Kai Alana Warrior. Say ‘Kai’)
(Kai)
(Alana)
(Alana)
(Warrior)
(Warrior)
(Yayy!)
(1-2 Buckle my shoe, 3-4 shut the door, 5-6 pick up sticks)
(Hi Kai, happy birthday! This is number 6! I’ve been here for your third and for your sixth and hopefully I’ll be here for the rest of them instead of skipping every three years but I’m glad I could be here for your birthday-)
Pass the cereal factory
Roll the windows down
Strapped in a car seat
I can still smell it now
On the front step staring at the house
Talking through the screen door
Mom says I’m “letting all the cold air out”
Dad’s on the couch
Moms in the kitchen
Blanes killing zombies
I wish I was like him
I’m saying my prayers to wake up each morning
And trust in a God, that I don’t believe in
Now
Now
Mom’s reaching out
Dad’s coming home late
I’m in my room and I never see Blane
I’m doing my tables to try to pass fifth grade
And learning to love and see what they hate
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2. |
I Don't Know
02:56
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Feels like I’m doing this all wrong
Talking to myself and these 4 white walls
Maybe it’s time to let you know
That I don’t know
I don’t know
Holding my hand and kissing my neck
You smile softly and watch me undress
Maybe it’s time to let you know that I can’t let go
I don’t know
I’ve been dealing with issues and making my bed
I’ve been crying at stop lights and gas stations
I’ve been finding a reason to call my friends
I’ve been making it harder than it already is
I’ve been staring at our pictures at 3 AM
Think I’m finding out that maybe I’m a masochist
If you treated me so badly, then why do I miss it?
I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know
I see you’re doing better, am I still on your mind?
You moved out to the Westcoast suburbs and left it all behind
I know that we’ve both changed, I finally learned to drive
There’s so much I could tell you but I hesitate keeping you in my life
I’ve been dealing with issues and making my bed
I’ve been crying at stop lights and gas stations
I’ve been finding a reason to call my friends
I’ve been making it harder than it already is
I’ve been staring at our pictures at 3 AM
Think I’m finding out that maybe I’m a masochist
If you treated me so badly, then why do I miss it?
I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know
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3. |
Bags (I Carry)
03:57
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You don’t want me around like you say you do
I need you to say if you want me to leave you
I really am trying-
To think outside of me
To be in your shoes that fit so perfectly
Its deeper than you
I calculate it all
Your voice, the rise and fall
I’m losing my sleep and counting my days
What if I’m hard to love and it’s a losing game?
It’s not your fault I get like this
I think you fill me up and I doubt too quick
I don’t know if I like myself
or the person that inhabits my mind
I feel like a child with a birthday cake
And a blown-out candle in an empty space
Its deeper than you, it seems
I carry almost everything with me (I carry I carry)
If you want me around like you say you do (say you do)
I need you to say you don’t want me to leave you
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4. |
July 5th
02:23
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I think there’s something wrong
With my brain and how it came to terms
With your words and how I never really let them hurt
I never really noticed how **** of a job you did at being a good person
Only kind when it’s convenient
But you loved me so well when I was your only option left
So, it makes sense
That I got attached to something I couldn’t grasp
I’d like to think you’re changing
You’re getting harder to ignore
I’ve taken down your painting from my wall
And I’ve scrubbed these floors
I’d like to think you’re sorry
Just say that you “got bored”
I hate that I tried changing for you
The thing is... I don’t think I love you anymore
No, I don’t think I love you
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5. |
Malibu
04:07
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You’re growing old
We’re growing apart
I used to look up to you
Now, I cant even stand in your arms
And you rented a car just to cross state lines
And smile smug and the strangers as you raced right by
Well, I think the highway knew you were lying
No one revs that much when they’re secure enough
I’m looking down your open mouth
There’s nothing there
I’ve tuned you out
I always do this
Say I’ll let you talk for now
You’re never there
Static on the couch
Your son walked around on your faulted ground
He fell right through
Then, he ran from you
I didn’t get it then but I’m running now
We don’t talk that much
But we always circle ‘round to you
We never know when you’re lying
Your stories change
My eye contact fades
I’m looking down your open mouth
There’s nothing there
I’ve tuned you out
I always do this say I’ll let you talk for now
you’re never there
Static on the couch
I hope you’re not alone now
Whatever’s happened, I hope you sort it out
I tried to wish ill on you
But I’ve grown now
You say “I love you”
I say “love you too”
When I think of you
I see the Malibu
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6. |
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I think I’m falling out of love with you
But I’ll keep it inside
Wont let you know that I don’t see you like I used to
And everything you do annoys me now
I’m sorry that I got like this
I swear I’m trying to work on it
Maybe this year I’ll stop getting bored of friends
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7. |
For The Both of Us
04:34
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Don’t you think it’s time to move on?
I wont speak for you but I think this conversations overdue
Every time I talk to you
I run in circles
‘round the truth
I can’t lie to you anymore
It hurts too much
For the both of us
I can’t lie with you anymore
I’ve thought it through
And a future with you isn’t what I want
And I want what’s best
For the both of us
You called me up
I held my breath
If I don’t speak, then we don’t end
Tried to brush it off but it wouldn’t fade
Thought I could love you if I stayed
But, every time I kiss you
I pull away too soon
I can’t lie to you anymore
It hurts too much
For the both of us
I can’t lie with you anymore
I’ve thought it through
And a future with you isn’t what I want
And I want what’s best
For the both of us
I can’t lie to you anymore
It hurts too much
For the both of us
I can’t lie to you anymore
It hurts too much
For the both of us
I can’t lie with you anymore
I’ve thought it through
And a future with you isn’t what I want
And I want what’s best
For the both of us
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8. |
Everything I Know
04:37
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I drive around this worn town
That I’ve outgrown and I know
Right now, there’s nothing I can do about it
I work my job and come back home
And lay in bed and eat alone
And wish that I was standing in a kitchen I newly owned
With a magnet on the fridge of the mountains holding an image
And a postcard from my mother saying she misses me
And I’ll read it and get homesick
So, I’ll call her and we’ll talk a bit
And agree that I should come back home for Christmas
I know, there’s no promise
But it feels so dishonest to stay
Cardboard mansion
Monsoon season
Dad made breakfast
Pulling weeds and losing teeth
In my house on Alexis
Growing old in my grandparents home
And kind of reaching the top cabinet
Summer spent and losing friends
And keeping my promise
Getting sick and ER trips and hiding in closets
Feeling small in living room walls
And talking like I knew it all
It’s everything I know
It’s everything, I know
I don’t want to go
But, it’s everything I know
It’s everything I know
It’s everything, I know
It’s everything
It’s everything
It’s everything I know
(Yeaaaah doggy! So, what do you tell all your friends?)
(Thank you everybody!)
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Kai Warrior New Mexico
hello I am here and I am trying this out
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